Life's fifth: Dreams

Dazzled by the sun in the sky that is not real,

Blinded by the night around the world that is too still

The moment of brilliance that made

Everything seem darker afterwards.

I look across the sea of times to greet the star again,

And follow its trail through life and its pains,

With the light shining on me and the path ahead

Until the graveyards.

It is not loneliness that I fear but your absence;

It is not you that I miss but your essence;

For the journey I cannot undertake alone

For reasons vaguely defined,

You are the spirit that I cherish;

You are the soul that I wish;

You are the companion I have known,

With our fates entwined.

Life's four-some - Change, School, Work & Love 

#1 Closer to Closure

Over are my college days, memories their only trace.

Over is the merry phase, feeling the warmth of my friends’ embrace.

As I go on, I realize there are too many things time can’t erase

Too many lessons learnt gearing up for the next race

There are too many ways life manages to amaze

And too many of our dreams are worth the chase.

As I am dazed by the worldly maze

I slowly appraise the worldly plays

Something inside my mind just says

I miss those good old days, back in the good old place

Where a part of me stays, Clinging on to the innocent grace.

The farewell dance, the teary glance

The love, the pain, the nuisance

The hopes, the dopes, the coming out of trance

The daring stance, the fleeting chance

The harsh bursting of buoyance

The end of arrogant nonchalance,

The end of drugged romance

The dawn of fond remembrance

I'd always remember..

the hits and the misses, the crests and the troughs

the fits and the kisses, the blows and the scoffs

the laughter and the tears

the courage and its fears

the silences and the chats

the men and the brats

the good from the bad

the happy from the sad

I'd remember everything big and small

Id remember those guys

I'd remember them all

#2 Rules of College

Raising the GPA was the task well-defined

How to possibly do that beat my mind

After semesters of occasionally vying for points

Realization set in, instead settled for ‘joints’.

Hopelessly, I observed people clinging onto the trophies

And immersed myself into accismus philosophies.

After much observation, I thought I could devise

An algorithm to achieve GPA that would surmise

In fact I came up with two methods to get to the goal

Both I figured were detrimental to my soul.

The longer process demands perseverance and is boring

However, the results are gratifying and leads to high scoring

The shorter method is risky and requires more skill

With the dividends very high and providing thrill.

Attending classes regularly, pretending to pay attention

Striving to keep the eyes open, are the first method’s obligations

Responding to questions, jotting down lectures

You would do better acclimatizing silently to these kind of tortures

Personalization of professors is a remunerative option

To obtain grace marks and pre-exam suggestion

Following all these steps accurately is a complicated procedure

But once implemented, success is sure.

The adventurous prefer the alternative approach

Not for the moral folk who are afraid of reproach

It involves scanning through the procured ‘notes’ till the last minutes

Creating coded backups of selected data in creative cheat-sheets.

Generating manual facsimiles from people seating all around

Reinforced with the micro-pamphlets in innovative places never found

Might be lucky enough to be placed in between the know-it-alls

Or propped comfortably at the corner of the hall.

Optimum combination of the two methods yield the best results

The secret behind the exhilarating GPA exalts.

It does not matter how much you study

If you have got hold of the right buddy

My friends would know what I have to say

They suffered to learn it the hard way.

#3 Drifted into a Job

Drifted into a job, a challenging change

First day at work, obviously strange

Seduced by luxury,

'Twas impressive managed to arrange.

Tired by attire, tied with ties

Introduction to corporate, greeted with lies.

Insistent and incessant, they showered us with lectures

Striving hard to imbibe us into their cultures

Minds to kill, souls to crush

Brains to wash, spirits to flush

Can’t really blame them, they were on a mission

To preach, to teach, align them with their vision

Consolation extravagance,

Making us oblivious of the impending doom

Time was up,

We were thrown out of our luxury rooms.

Dropped from the stars, deported to holes

Unsettling dreams, obscuring goals.

Horrific job, Congratulations to me

Sights too dark, even for me to see.

Surrounded by trash, creators of the realm

Dumbfounded by trash, constructors under helm.

Overwhelmed with brute, paradise of the brawn

The brain has lost its place, the night too long, without dawn.

Life on the edge, literally, for too long is no more thrilling

It’s more like being afraid, spines chilling.

Time is frozen, days repeat over and over again

Expressionless, too numb to cry out in pain.

Settling into the routine, to come, to strive, to go

Still pondering, down the line,

What happened to their lives?

They would never know.

#4 Love's Labor Lost

She was just another girl, a girl, and nothing more

But it was different, I thought; I felt something like never before

Started out with us being friends, as is the case with most of us boys,

When my heart cried something about love she couldn’t hear those words

They conveniently drowned in the noise.

For too long she kept me at bay,

I turned around pretending to go away

She realized what she was going to lose

Between her heart and her ego, she knew now what to choose.

She needed me, she called out my name

It was getting serious, no more just a game

But the spark was gone, I couldn’t feel the same.

I didn’t stop, she cried out my name again

I didn’t care; I knew I inflicted her with hurt and pain

I drifted away, never turned around

I drifted away, till emptiness and silence were all that I found.

For a long time I kept myself busy,

Remembered her when I was down and dizzy

What would have happened if I had looked behind;

Would I have run back to her?

Would I have changed my mind?

I know I’d do anything to change the past

But I know that the plot’s been written, the characters cast

It is impossible to change the past.

As I lie now on my bed all alone

I think I had always known

You can’t really attribute your misfortunes to fate

Life is all about not having to regret.

One Year..that is a lot it seems.

The semester ended in a way it generally did, or at least nearly so. The results a fortnight later would not be a very accurate indicator of it though. It was time to get back to our leisure, the endless hours of doing nothing, yet probably being the most productive phase of our lives. The enlightenment achieved in this time cannot be explained in lecture notes, reference books or tutorials. Yet it is important to shape us, to define who we are. Most part of the semester went by in a similar fashion, exempting the weeks towards the end, when we sort of have to complete our duties towards the university. However, it was different this time. We were not supposed to come back to that place anymore. It was time for us to go to a new one, with promise that it was not going to be the same, devoid of the intellectual partners of our leisure. It was time for us to take care of the stuff we had considered trivial in all those conversations in our leisure. How are we supposed to do that? There was no satisfactory answer to that. I was convinced I was not prepared for it. But just as life manages to make you do all the stuff that's stranger than fiction, I eventually did. While I acquiesce to the fact, I did not do an excellent job, I was competent. And I realised something. Letting go of a dream is painful. Chasing it, even more. The twist is in the hope of gaining satisfaction in achieving it someday. I knew I had to return to the path that could take me where I wanted to be and not the one I landed up in because I was not confident, and wanted to resort to the options we had initially opposed just because it was safer. That brings me here. Today. I know more about fighting than I ever did. It's not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and still move on. The importance of inches. How to fight for each one of the inches in front and willing to die for it. How everything as small and fragile as an inch is worth fighting for. In our imaginations a few years back, we did not conceive the fight, chasing a dream is all about. The temptations of glory and ego-contentment drove me into this lane. When I am finally there, I realise that the motivation of glory is not enough. It is about survival. It was always about survival. Survival is the cause and consequences of our dreams, aspirations and hopes. Dreams define the way we want to survive, not survival itself. This brings me closer to appreciate all the people who are doing so well in their lives, fighting and surviving with their dreams, which in my adolescent intellectualism I considered humble. The prestige of life is living it. The best possible way to do it is to remain guiltless in our own conscience, and justice to our own perspective. The others, who matter, will learn to understand and respect it. And if that way, manages to inspire or influence anyone else to fight their own battle, life becomes more, because it becomes light, a gift with a message.

Legends of the Arena

March 24, 2011
The outcome of the quarter finals definitely signified the end of an era. Going into it, a defeat for either side would have underlined the departure of one of the two maestros of the cricketing world from the world’s most coveted stage of the game- permanently. Sachin Tendulkar and Ricky Ponting. Undeniably the greatest batsmen still in the game, they share almost all the records amongst themselves and together illustrate the best exponents of one-day cricket phenomenon. Overwhelming critics, negotiating expectations, eluding time- they have wielded magic at the world’s most prestigious arena, time after time. Their world cup records adequately representing that, yet excluding the influence they exerted to their own teams and their opponents. However, throughout their careers, Sachin managed to edge past Punter as far as statistics, reputations and opinions are concerned, and dear Punter had to remain contented being the second best in the minds of cricket experts and aficionados. These superlatives of world cup confronted each other in what could possibly be their last venture on the world cup canvas had their side lost. And as the Aussies were eliminated, Destiny probably decided to give the best another go, over the world’s next best. Ponting has chased Sachin in all his records, reaching pinnacles himself, yet living in the shadow of the tallest peak, yet in the agony of winning the silver. In the cricketing sky without Tendulkar, Punter is the brightest star. He made his point as he walked away today- the champion in his own right. Sometimes you just feel for him, just as this limerick says-

Had Sachin been not so much into cricket
Punter could have got himself the ticket
To journey ahead of all the rest
Instead of being the second best
And a little more value for his wicket.

Duality

If it wasnt for the bad, I would have never known the good
If I hadn't been mad, I would have never known what I should
I learnt to be polite only after I faced the rude
If it wasn't for sad,
I could not have felt glad
It was the wrong that showed the way to right
It was the night that made me realise daylight
It was all the extremes to which I had been
And everything that lies in between
I realised nothing is absolute, and its never too late
To change, to grow, to build up a fate
An eventful journey, but I have no regrets
Because in the course of things, it was you whom I met.

Life in a Vision

When i go to sleep every night, i just visualise a happy moment comprising of factual and fictional details accompanied by the perfect background chimes resonating in my mind. That’s how I end my day so that I might endure another as beautiful on the next. And maybe it will be the same (assuming I will be experienced practicing it by then ) when the ultimate end comes. What would I see then? Which vision will tingle my feelings until I feel no more. I think my quest of life is the search of the perfect reminiscence – the vision from life, and as of now there are plenty of options to chose from, from a particular day, the one day in which I almost lived my entire life. It started out on a wrong note, my clumsiness resulting in our missing the bus, to be exact, but it grew into something perfect. If smiles represent happiness, what does insane laughter signify? Happiness with all strings loose. There we were amidst happy people ; happiest of all in the city which was important enough to be claimed and occupied by four great nations , in the brightest of sun. There is a sense of delight in fulfilment after the realisation of a dream; and personally, standing at the center of Berlin was a dream come true; but I don’t know what can portray the bliss touching the G-spot of our hearts- tears, smiles, shouts,…..when we experience something beyond the reach of our dreams. This obscure ecstacy constituted all our emotions and engulfed us as we stood in the cruise…we shared and bonded in the same unexplained joy.., which took me days to realise.

Could I get back those moments of happiness for rent,
For the one precious smile in this pain they meant;
Let those memories fill the emptiness that is inside me
Let those visions illuminate the darkness and make me see...

Success

Life is all about who you are and who you are remembered as, and it is a successful life when they are the same.